


The Phantom Scandal

by yangisbestgirl



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/M, Humor, Morgana is a perv, Sex Jokes, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yangisbestgirl/pseuds/yangisbestgirl
Summary: in which kawakami and joker come out to the team
Relationships: Kawakami Sadayo/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	The Phantom Scandal

The phantom thieves sat in leblanc, to a sight none of them ever could have foreseen. Their cool, calculating leader was beet red and furiously explaining himself, uncharacteristically flustered and uncomfortable, the man they knew as joker vulnerable in a way they had never seen. Next to him was their japanese teacher, slumped in her chair, holding her head in her hands as though she had a migraine, revealing her usal face of stern annoyance mixed with embarrassment, guilt, and anxiety. 

"...and basically, that's how we became a thing! I know it's strange and uncomfortable but I hope you continue to support us and obviously, keep this between us."

The room was silent enough that one could hear a pin drop, except for the gentle sound of sojiro washing dishes behind the bar, and the surprisingly audible sound of Ann's blood boiling. The team looked at the couple in silence, each reacting in their way, Haru and Sumire blushing at the confession of something so scandalous, Yusuke with that strange look in his eye that only meant inspiration, while Futaba's glasses fogged up and she clutched her computer bag right. Makoto had a light blush on her face, but her expression was that of facing a troubling shadow. Morgana didn't seem to care much and was attempting to calm down Ann who was visibly angry, and Ryuji just looked like his jaw hit the floor, looking around the room at his teammates in total confusion.

"You... you're dating...o-our...and she...the maid service...for real?! Holy shit dude!"

Sojiro turned off the tap and grabbed his things. Smirking, he headed for the door, though not without tossing Ren the keys to leblanc and nodding. "Good on ya kid. Reminds me of myself. Though not even I could have bagged a teacher in those days." As he opened the door to leave, he paused. "Lock up when you're done working things out, I'll...leave you lot to it."

Kawakami groaned and her head hit the table as she slumped over in total defeat. "Will someone, anyone, please, please get me some liquor?" Ren reached into her bag to hand her the small flask that was inside. She downed it in one go before slumping back over. "I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail.." she muttered quieter and quieter until it was inaudible. The quiet almost dominated again until Sumire spoke up.

"S-senpai that's s-s-so.. th-thats... you're.. y-.."

"A bad senpai?" The attention then centered on Makoto, who had spoken up. "This is no way to set an example for your underclassmen, Ren. Strictly speaking, I'm just going to forget this and focus on the thieves. It's better for us that way. I will expect you to keep this .. situation under wraps for obvious reasons. I don't necessarily approve, but as long as it doesn't affect our friendship, or our teamwork, then...I suppose I'm happy that you're happy. Can everyone get behind that?"

Sumire, Haru, and Yusuke nodded. "I just..I didn't know that was your... taste, senpai. Is that why you turned me down? I suppose I should be glad, then?"

Kawakami roused for a split second. "Ren-kun? Tell me later who said that so I can fail them." He patted her on the head reassuringly, before speaking up. "Overall this is going better than expected, in my opinion."

Morgana hopped up on the table. "Frankly, I'm surprised none of you figures it out sooner. I did."

"You did?!" Ryuji looked more shocked than Ren did.

"Frankly, no one has that many tutoring lessons. I'm not dumb."

"Well you live with him so it's, like, not that impressive, man!"

"Ren-kun?" Kawakami looked up. "Am I drunk or have you been speaking to the cat?"

Before Ren could explain, Ryuji interrupted. "Oh the cat's a phantom thief. He's like a person and he can talk and stuff but only we can hear him."

"I am not a cat, you brutish monkey!"

"Say that again, you dried up hairball!"

Kawakami looked beyond confused. "Is this some kind of joke? I am not in the mood."

Ren looked at her, dead seriousness on his face. "Everything he says is true."

Kawakami blinked at him in confusion. "But that's..he can understand what I'm saying?"

Ren looked confused as to what she was getting at. "Yes?" 

"I sure can! Tell her I'm tired of her sleeping on my bed!"

"That's my bed, you greedy cat."

"But that means..." Kawakami spoke in a low tone, but presumably the inebriation made it sound quieter to her than it actually was. "Last saturday..." 

Morgana shifted from his spot on the table. "Uh..I suddenly remembered I have something important to do...calling card for the minor targets, yeah!"

Ren's eyes darkened. "Let her finish her sentence before you leave." 

"I didn't want to ruin the mood because I thought he was just a cat, and it didn't matter that he was watching..."

"I see." The look on Ren's face was one that anyone else might not be able to read, but the phantom thieves knew. That look was the last surprise many shadows would see before they died.

"Oh shit!" Morgana leapt from table to table, bounding towards the door. "Don't forget I'm part of the teeeaaamm!" He yelled after dodging the thrown coffee mug headed his way, before pushing through to the streets.

Ryuji slumped in his chair. "For real, man? The cat sees a naked woman before I do? Hope is a lie..."

This was the last straw for Ann, who slung her purse off her shoulders to begin hitting Ren with it. "You! Stupid! Jerk! Our fucking, teacher?! After everything?!" She stopped hitting him but was on the verge of tears. "After Kamoshida? You go and do this?! Did that mean anything to you? After all the time I've been following you, your ideals were a lie?!"

"It's not like Kamoshida, Ann. You gotta know that by now. That I wouldn't risk my life for a conviction I didn't hold." 

"But-" 

"I chased her. Do you have any idea how long it took to get her to listen? I'm following my heart, wherever it leads, and it led me to Sadayo. That's been what we have done from the beginning: being true to ourselves and our justice. I would never compromise that. You might not see it, as you've only known for an hour, but this is my truth, Ann." 

"But you-" Ann stopped, and caught her breath. "This conversation is not over. We can talk about it another time."

Ren raised an eyebrow. "So you'll keep our secret?" 

"Fine. But you better prove me wrong, got it?"

"Deal."

This time Yusuke was the one to speak, he had been writing in his sketchbook the entire time. "Ren, Kawakami-san, may I request something?" 

"What?"

Yusuke's eyes sparkled. "As an artist I'm always in search of inspiration. And one thing I've always struggled with is accurate portrayal of the passion of romantic love: I request to witness your passion-"

"No way in hell."

"-as what passion is more intense than forbidden love? The scandalous joy in the face of an unforgiving sea of judgement?! The romeo and juilet of the modern age?! Truly this shall be my greatest painting yet!"

Haru giggled. "Yusuke, you're not really fooling anyone. "Frankly, Ren I was always hoping you liked older girls... just not quite that old." She confessed, looking disappointed.

Kawakami muttered from her faceplant in the table. "failing her too..."

Haru continued. "I will say though, you've spoken more in one day than I have ever seen you speak. You're usually of so few words. The love you have is real and I support it. I'm happy for you both."

"I'm jelly, man. My best friend is bagging teachers for christ's sake." 

Makoto patted him on the back. "You'll find someone someday, Ryuji."

"I don't see you volunteering!"

"We're teammates. That would be most inappropriate."

"You're a magical revolutionary, nothing about us is appropriate!"

"Don't press my sympathy, Ryuji. So, we're all settled for today? Wait..Futaba, you haven't spoken a word!"

"...Futaba?"

Futaba's glasses remained foggy, as she stepped closer to ren. "When you rescued me, I believed together we could do anything. That it was in me to define my path in life."

Ren looked up. "Futaba?" A single tear rolled down her cheek. "You've proven to me today that any dream, any fantasy is within my reach. Thank you, Ren."

She leaned in to give him a hug, and he heard a nearly silent mutter under her breath during it. "Doujinshi are real..." 

"Excuse me?"

Futaba leaned back and removed her glasses, her eyes welling up with tears, but her brow furrowed in the way when she was doing some probably illegal mischief on the computer. "You have no idea the gift you've given me on this day. Doujinshi are real. Hope is real. Anything is possible. Nothing is beyond my reach, not even MILFs. Thank you Ren...from the bottom of my heart...thank you!"

Yusuke looked in a strange mixture of arousal and disgust, while Ryuji, Ann and Makoto stared dumbfounded. Sumire had long since checked out and had been on her phone for the last half hour. Haru kept her usual cheerful face, strangely unaffected by Futaba's passionate speech.

Kawakami had had enough and stood up. "I'm gonna bed. Don't wait up." And went up the stairs. 

Futaba put her glasses back on. "Ren, ren!"

He looked up at her wordlessly. 

"Do you think I can successfully bang Takemi? What kind of underwear do you think she'd like me to wea-" 

Ren picked her up, the look on his face bwyond tired of people, and slung her over his shoulder, leaving out through the door towards the Sakura home. "Bedtime for you, gremlin."

"LET GO OF ME YOU CRAP ASS BIG BROTHER FIGURE THAT ISN'T THE DOUJIN IM TRYING TO MAKE TRUE..." she trailed off as they got farther away, leaving the rest of the crew alone in silence. 

Morgana walked through the door and 2at back on the table like nothing happened licking a paw absentmindedly. "So uh... Darts anyone?"

**Author's Note:**

> OMAKE:   
> (1) new message from Futaba:
> 
> F: Hey bro you wanna put a good word in for me with the big tiddy goth mommy next time you do a clinical trial? I want her to step on me  
> R: I never needed to know this about you. There's isn't enough bleach in the world to clean my mind right now  
> F: you ain't got room to talk mr "peg me harder kawamommy 😩"  
> R:   
> F: I have your room still bugged just needed to know what to look for. If you're wondering.  
> F: Ren?  
> R: your time to live has ceased  
> F:TRY IT PUSSY  
> F: SQUARE UP IN MEMENTOS YOU FUCKING BOTTOM  
> R: it's not even worth it good night you filthy gremlin  
> F: whatever I'll go myself without your help


End file.
